Here’s another secret for getting more pleasure during intimacy. Know your body! If you don’t know what gets you off, how can somebody else know? I hate to break this but it’s also no one’s job to figure it out for you.
I’m talking about the basics here which is different from experimenting and spicing things up with a partner and also different from seeking professional help in cases where you’ve experienced a disconnect with your body after trauma, an accident or other hardship.
For that you need to do your homework. Masturbate!
I went to a catholic school where we were told that masturbation comes from the latin, “manus” (meaning “hand”) and “turbare”, meant: destroy with the hand! Needless to say that it’s complete BS on all counts! “Turbare” is meant in the sense of disturb, agitate. Regardless, there is absolutely no shame and nothing wrong with giving yourself pleasure and stimulating your own body.
Orgasms and sexual pleasures and desires are completely normal and healthy. Your body and mind needs them. So do it ! Touch yourself and / or buy toys and explore.
Caress your breasts and pinch your nipples a bit. How does that feel? Discover how you like your clitoris stimulated, gently and more on the peripheral or more intense direct stimulation? Long soft strokes or short intense ones? Or maybe you like it all?
I even recommend you try anal penetration and explore if that is something you could see yourself enjoying. That’s a good one to figure out for yourself rather than in the heat of the moment with a partner who will think you’re a porn star and ready for anal sex at a moment’s notice.
For toys, lots of stores in Vancouver. Here are 2 long established ones.
If you’re too uncomfortable to go shop for toys in a store try this North Vancouver based online store. Good prices and free, fast and discreet delivery.
