There is an old school, perhaps even romanticized concept that promotes the idea that a woman should not reveal herself and let her partner discover her, leaving them to unlock the secrets of what gives her pleasure. That must be a legacy from the Victorian era, a time when a respectable woman was to be prudish, innocent and chaste and never dare to talk about sex. Those matters were best handled by her husband.
Well I’m sorry to say but that time is long gone and life is too short for a treasure hunt. Not because you’re not worth the time and effort to be “discovered” but let’s face it, it’s hard enough to find a suitable mate, when you get to the point of being intimate with someone might as well make sure you get the most pleasure out of it! Compatibility on that level is important too.
For many sex talk is taboo. It doesn’t have to be. There’s nothing to be shy about sharing with your partner what you enjoy and perhaps more importantly, what your turn offs are. Be them casual or long term. Tell them what you love and your limits / boundaries. Your comfort and pleasure are as important as his and it avoids awkwardness in the heat of the moment.
Most men won’t hesitate to tell you what they want or what they like. They will even show you how they like it. Why don’t you do the same?
Each individual is unique and will respond to touch and stimulation their own way. What works for someone might not work for the next person. Plus our body changes over time and reacts differently to stimulation. You like your nipples touched in a certain way? Tell your partner. You like a more gentle and peripheral clitoral stimulation or do you prefer direct and more pressure? Being intimate with someone is about giving and receiving, making each other feel good. It does help to know each other’s like and dislikes.
Communication is key in getting the most pleasure during intimacy and it is our own responsibility to give pointers to our partner to get the experience and satisfaction we desire.
